This is been one of the worst weeks of my life (And that’s fucking saying) something. I’ve been unable to get out of bed. When I do I cry a lot. I throw up a lot. I’ve pretty much felt like I’ve been having a heart attack for Three consecutive days. Not a good look as I rocket towards a week of sad stuff and doctors appointments. My therapist has upped my appointments to twice a week. My meds have been doubled. My usually empty house has been coincidentally full of people in a concerted effort for me not to be alone. I think they’re worried about me. I think they think I’m broken but I’m not sure I can be any more broken though this week showed me I can’t be more sad and certainly more disappointed.  there’s literally so much going on so much fucking terrible for me so much terrible in the world that it would take something awful to make anything stand out.. HEY Thanks 2020!!  The point of part one of this is not how messed up i am right now. I think anyone who knows